I'm feeling bored today. Nothing much happened except for the few parts that I was feeling pissed. All I have to say is, if you don't care, why the hell am I even wasting my time by bothering?
So eff it. My horoscope said that my future is fast approaching so I cannot waste my energy on stupid things. *
think positive thoughts, think positive thoughts *So thus, I decided to post some JOKES!
Two Sweethearts
There were two high school sweethearts who went out together for four years in high school and were both virgins and enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade. When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast.
They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together. As time went on, the guy would call the girl but she was never home and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return any letters. Even when he e-mailed her, she took days to return his messages. Finally, she confessed to him that she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls and letters and e-mails trying to win back her love. Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend, she wanted to get him off her back. So what she did was this:
She took a polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone." Well needless to say, this guy was heartbroken, but even more so, he was pissed. So what he did next was awesome:
He wrote on the back of the photo the following: "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!" and then mailed the picture to her parents. Okay lah. Not so funny. Here's a few more...
Q: Did you hear about the dyslexic Satanist?A: He sold his soul to Santa Q: Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?A: He's all right now. Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?A: They take the psycho path. Q: How do you get holy water?A: Boil the hell out of it. Q: How does a spoiled rich girl change a light bulb?A: She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment. Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?A: Dam. Q: What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?A: Polaroids. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?A: Cell phones.Q: What is a zebra?A: 26 sizes larger than A braQ: What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?A: Anyone can roast beef.Lame but so damn hell funny!
okay... Another one
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago?”, the homeless woman replied.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked “No, I don’t waste time shopping?”, the homeless woman said.
“I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked. “Are you NUTS?” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.
The homeless woman was astounded. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The woman replied, “That’s Okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine.So that's all for now.
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